****With all pictures in this blog post, if you click on the thumbnail, it will take you to the larger size of the photo****
The death of Bernice Moore on July 26th, 2010 brought a tragedy into some of our lives that we hadn’t seen in quite a while. But, along with that tragedy came a happiness that some of us have prayed for and thought of for years and years. Does God do that to take some of the pain out of our hearts for a little while?
First off, when we first got to the viewing of Bernice, David, my ex husband, and his wife Barbara, and my son Brian, had gotten there before us. I saw Brian when I first walked in. Kim saw her dad. Neither of us had seen either one of them in a long time. David had not seen his own granddaughter, KyleeAnn, once since she was born, so I know Kim was proud to let her dad and stepmom see KyleeAnn. They immediately got out their camera and started taking photos.
I wasn’t the least bit jealous because I knew Kim had wanted this so much. She had wanted her dad to see KyleeAnn for months. After all KyleeAnn is 7 months old already and she did give her both of our middle names. Ky(Lee)(Ann) had David’s middle name, Lee and my middle name Ann. She was proud of that name and I am too. When I am gone there will be a little bit of me left in KyleeAnn’s name. I don’t think people use Deborah or Debbie anymore.
Seeing her dad holding KyleeAnn brought joy to her heart during that time of sadness with her Grandma Moore dying. Next I got to see Brian and talk to him. Brian is 27 but when he was 10 months old he got Spinal Meningitis and almost died. That left him what is called “Educable Mentally Retarded.” David took Brian away from me when he was 9 years old and I have not been able to see him but a few times since then. I realize that I did David wrong but he still hates me and won’t let me see Brian. It seems like since his life turned out so much better without me that he would not hate me so much, that maybe he would think I did him a favor but he hates me and he keeps Brian away from me. Brian came outside on Wednesday night and was talking to all of us and we got pictures and all with him that night until David came out there and told him he could not come back out there when we were out there. Brian was so upset. He told us that David treats him like a little kid and he is 27 years old now. After David told him that he could not come outside when we did, he would stand at the door and watch us while we stood out there and talked. It was so sad. Here Brian is 27 and wanted to be out there with his sisters and his niece and his mom and couldn’t be out there because of David. We did get some awesome pictures of him though.
I was so happy to finally have pictures with my son. It had been way tooooo many years and he was, after all, my only son. I sometimes wonder if that is why David has kept me away from him because he knew how much I loved Brian and I hurt him so he wants to hurt me. We have been split up since 1989 though and you would think that the hurt and anger would be out of his system by now.
It is really hard to put into words what all happened at the viewing and some of the happiness that we all felt during the time of what should have been such a sad time. David’s first daughter, Melissa Preas, came to the viewing. It was the first time David or myself had seen her in person since she was 2 years old. I will always feel guilty for my part in Melissa not being a part of the Moore family. I can remember when she was 2 years old how much she loved her daddy, David. She would come into the office and see him and run to him calling out, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” Then David left his first wife for me and Bonnie went back to her old boyfriend, Bob, and they got married, we got married, and Bob adopted Melissa. Melissa told us at the viewing that she did not want to hurt Bob, who she thinks of as her real father because he had been so good to her. I can understand that, but Bob has nothing to worry about. David barely spoke to her. I introduced David and Barbara to Melissa. David just shook her hand and said, “Hi” and then went on with talking to other people. We stood there and talked to Melissa. She is absolutely cool and awesome and all that you can imagine the News Director of Channel 10 would be. I have cried over this since that night. She would have been my stepdaughter. She would have been a part of my life if I had not been so jealous. Because of my part in her being kept from her daddy and the Moore family she has missed out on having her sisters and brother being a part of her life. Thank God she did finally get to meet them and I hope and pray that she will now be a part of their lives and maybe I can see her once in a while as well. It made Donna so happy to see her too. Donna just held onto her when she got there. Melissa didn’t get to see Grandma Moore but one time before she died but hopefully now she will be a part of Donna’s life, because Aunt Donna loved and still loves her very much. Here are a couple pictures of Melissa.
It will always amaze me at the happiness that came out of such tragedy. I got to see people I had not seen in years but missed a lot. I finally, thanks to David, got what I have wanted for over 16 years. I said that before I died that I wanted one picture of me with all 4 of my children and David let me have that. Now if something does happen to me I got the one thing I wanted before I died. Here are the rest of the pictures from the viewing and the funeral. I am kind of at a loss for words on how this all came together.
The next pictures are the day of the funeral. They are not all on my blog but will be on my facebook photos. You can find the link over on the right.
Bernice will be missed so much by so many people. I do hope that in some way God let her know what a blessing her funeral brought to a lot of people. He took her to be with him and brought us some happiness that helped us get through the sad times. Thank you for giving us Bernice God, and thank you for blessing us with her love. We will never forget her.
Bernice Goad Moore-Born April 12, 1928-Died July 26, 2010 at 82 years old.
Here is the one picture that I know Grandma Moore is smiling down on us for getting and the one that I will treasure until the day I die, just because I don’t think there will ever be another chance to get another one.
It took such a sad day to get a much wanted photo, but no one can take it away from me now. It is here. It is mine and I can say I have the one thing now that I wanted before I died. I love you all so much and Bernice (Grandma Moore), I know you are so much happier in Heaven with God and there is no pain anymore and you are walking around with nothing but love and happiness filling your soul. Thank you again for blessing us with your presence on this earth!!!