Picture of Grandma Moore from her obituary

****With all pictures in this blog post, if you click on the thumbnail, it will take you to the larger size of the photo****

The death of Bernice Moore on July 26th, 2010 brought a tragedy into some of our lives that we hadn’t seen in quite a while.  But, along with that tragedy came a happiness that some of us have prayed for and thought of for years and years.  Does God do that to take some of the pain out of our hearts for a little while?

First off, when we first got to the viewing of Bernice, David, my ex husband, and his wife Barbara, and my son Brian, had gotten there before us.   I saw Brian when I first walked in.  Kim saw her dad.  Neither of us had seen either one of them in a long time.  David had not seen his own granddaughter, KyleeAnn, once since she was born, so I know Kim was proud to let her dad and stepmom see KyleeAnn.   They immediately got out their camera and started taking photos.

My ex husband, David, with his wife, Barbara, holding KyleeAnn for the first time.

I wasn’t the least bit jealous because I knew Kim had wanted this so much.  She had wanted her dad to see KyleeAnn for months.  After all KyleeAnn is 7 months old already and she did give her both of our middle names.  Ky(Lee)(Ann) had David’s middle name, Lee and my middle name Ann.   She was proud of that name and I am too.  When I am gone there will be a little bit of me left in KyleeAnn’s name.  I don’t think people use Deborah or Debbie anymore. 

Seeing her dad holding KyleeAnn brought joy to her heart during that time of sadness with her Grandma Moore dying.  Next I got to see Brian and talk to him.  Brian is 27 but when he was 10 months old he got Spinal Meningitis and almost died.  That left him what is called “Educable Mentally Retarded.”  David took Brian away from me when he was 9 years old and I have not been able to see him but a few times since then.  I realize that I did David wrong but he still hates me and won’t let me see Brian.  It seems like since his life turned out so much better without me that he would not hate me so much, that maybe he would think I did him a favor but he hates me and he keeps Brian away from me.  Brian came outside on Wednesday night and was talking to all of us and we got pictures and all with him that night until David came out there and told him he could not come back out there when we were out there.  Brian was so upset.  He told us that David treats him like a little kid and he is 27 years old now.  After David told him that he could not come outside when we did, he would stand at the door and watch us while we stood out there and talked.  It was so sad.  Here Brian is 27 and wanted to be out there with his sisters and his niece and his mom and couldn’t be out there because of David.  We did get some awesome pictures of him though.

Brian holding KyleeAnn, his niece.

Me, with my handsome, 27 year old son, Brian

Kim and Brian, my 2 oldest.

Close up shot with myself and my son, Brian.

Brian with me, his sisters, Kim and Kayla, and his niece, KyleeAnn.

Another picture with me, Brian, Kim, Kayla, and KyleeAnn

I was so happy to finally have pictures with my son.  It had been way tooooo many years and he was, after all, my only son.   I sometimes wonder if that is why David has kept me away from him because he knew how much I loved Brian and I hurt him so he wants to hurt me.  We have been split up since 1989 though and you would think that the hurt and anger would be out of his system by now.

It is really hard to put into words what all happened at the viewing and some of the happiness that we all felt during the time of what should have been such a sad time.   David’s first daughter, Melissa Preas, came to the viewing.  It was the first time David or myself had seen her in person since she was 2 years old.  I will always feel guilty for my part in Melissa not being a part of the Moore family.  I can remember when she was 2 years old how much she loved her daddy, David.  She would come into the office and see him and run to him calling out, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.”   Then David left his first wife for me and Bonnie went back to her old boyfriend, Bob, and they got married, we got married, and Bob adopted Melissa.  Melissa told us at the viewing that she did not want to hurt Bob, who she thinks of as her real father because he had been so good to her.  I can understand that, but Bob has nothing to worry about.  David barely spoke to her.  I introduced David and Barbara to Melissa.  David just shook her hand and said, “Hi” and then went on with talking to other people.  We stood there and talked to Melissa.  She is absolutely cool and awesome and all that you can imagine the News Director of Channel 10 would be.  I have cried over this since that night.  She would have been my stepdaughter.  She would have been a part of my life if I had not been so jealous.  Because of my part in her being kept from her daddy and the Moore family she has missed out on having her sisters and brother being a part of her life.  Thank God she did finally get to meet them and I hope and pray that she will now be a part of their lives and maybe I can see her once in a while as well.  It made Donna so happy to see her too.  Donna just held onto her when she got there.  Melissa didn’t get to see Grandma Moore but one time before she died but hopefully now she will be a part of Donna’s life, because Aunt Donna loved and still loves her very much.  Here are a couple pictures of Melissa.

Donna Moore with her niece, Melissa Preas. Isn't Melissa absolutely gorgeous?

Two beautiful half sisters together for the first time. Melissa Preas, Kim Moore, and KyleeAnn, Melissa's half niece.

It will always amaze me at the happiness that came out of such tragedy.  I got to see people I had not seen in years but missed a lot.  I finally, thanks to David, got what I have wanted for over 16 years.  I said that before I died that I wanted one picture of me with all 4 of my children and David let me have that.  Now if something does happen to me I got the one thing I wanted before I died.   Here are the rest of the pictures from the viewing and the funeral.  I am kind of at a loss for words on how this all came together.

My 2 oldest children, Kim and Brian, outside the funeral home.

My handsome son, Brian, standing outside the funeral home during the viewing.

Brian, with his beautiful sister, Kayla, and her boyfriend, Josh.

David Moore and Donna Furrow, son and daughter of Bernice Moore.

Donna with her niece and my daughter, Kim Moore.

Donna with her only blood nephew and my son Brian, and her niece, Kim.

The picture of Grandma Moore with her cat, on the wall in Parlor A at the funeral home.

Tricia, Kim's best friend, holding KyleeAnn at the viewing. Tricia was a big comfort to us all.

Me, holding my granddaughter, KyleeAnn, along with her fish, which I will tell you about in another blog, at the viewing.

My ex husband, David, holding our granddaughter, KyleeAnn, at the viewing.

My brother, Marvin Morrison, holding KyleeAnn at the viewing. Marvin Jr. is best friends with David, my ex.

Shawn, Donna's son and Grandma Moore's grandson, holding KyleeAnn at the viewing.

The next pictures are the day of the funeral.  They are not all on my blog but will be on my facebook photos.  You can find the link over on the right.

Donna and her son, Shawn, letting the dove go after the graveside service.

Six out of the seven grandchildren. The one missing was Melissa Preas. From L to R Shawn, Kathy, Kayla, Christi, Kim, and Brian.

Shawn with his girlfriend, Tiffany, and his dad, Donna's ex, Theo Furrow.

Bernice was buried next to her ex husband, Ed Moore. When he got sick, she took care of him as if they had never split up. That was our "Papa Moore."

Bernice's favorite flowers were roses, so it was only fit that her casket have roses on it and look at the beautiful top of the vault.

David, Barbara, Kim, Brian, Christi, and KyleeAnn.

Bernice will be missed so much by so many people.  I do hope that in some way God let her know what a blessing her funeral brought to a lot of people.  He took her to be with him and brought us some happiness that helped us get through the sad times.  Thank you for giving us Bernice God, and thank you for blessing us with her love.  We will never forget her.

Bernice Goad Moore-Born April 12, 1928-Died July 26, 2010 at 82 years old.

Bernice Goad Moore Born April 12, 1928 - Died July 26, 2010. Here she is holding her great grandchild, KyleeAnn, on Easter 2010.

This is a very hard time for the “Moore” family.  Bernice Goad Moore of Boones Mill, VA – a mother, a grandmother, a mother-in-law, a friend, and a great grandmother died around 6am July 26th, 2010.

You may ask, why she was any different from anyone else in this world that died that day?  To me she was very different from other people that are alive or have already passed away.   She is one person that I “KNOW” is in heaven right now with God.  Over the years I have known or been around people that have died, and only one other person in my life can I truly say that I “KNOW” is  in heaven right now and that was my Grandmother.

Grandma Moore (Bernice) was a good person and loved her family and her friends and God.  Over the years, her and I, had our differences but that was thirty some years ago and after that we became good friends and I went to her for advice or help with things my mom wouldn’t or couldn’t give me.  I cried on her shoulder, so to speak, many times over the years and loved her very much.

Let me tell you more of the story of Bernice Moore:

She is my ex Mother-In-Law.  I was married to her son, David.  Not many people stay friends with their ex in-laws, but I did.   When my ex husband and I split up, my parents became closer to him than me and his family became closer to me than him.  I told you that I come from a very dysfunctional family.  On Christmas I spend time with my exes family and he spends time with mine.  Now I have lost a part of my family and it hurts.

My youngest daughter, Kayla, has the last name Moore but is not a Moore by blood.  Do you think that bothered Bernice?  No, she took my daughter in like she was one of her blood grandchildren, and my mom has had nothing to do with her.  To Kayla, she was Grandma Moore and Kayla loved her just as much, if not more, than her real grandchildren.  When she was able to come to Kayla’s birthday parties she came, but my mom has never been to one of her parties.  My dad has but not my mom.  Kayla did not even know my mom until she was in school, but she knew her “Grandma Moore” and cried and cried when she finally found out that Grandma Moore was not her real grandma.

Bernice knew that my middle daughter (Christi) was David’s but David didn’t think she was.  They were at the hospital when Christi was born.  Was David? No!!  Bernice said the minute she saw her and looked at her feet that she was David’s but David didn’t believe it for years and years.  The sad thing was that Christi was kept from the Moore’s by my mom because they adopted her and wouldn’t let her see them.   Until Christi turned 18 and came to live at my house for a while, she had never been to see Grandma Moore.  I took her over there.  She went quite a few times with me and I thank God for that.

I also thank God for Donna, Bernice’s only daughter.  When Bernice got too old to take care of herself, Donna took her in with her and Bernice lived with Donna until the day she died.  Donna is a nurse at Roanoke Memorial.  As a matter of fact she is one of the last people that still wears their nurses cap every day she is at work.  She said she had worked hard for that cap and she was going to wear it.  At one time, the Roanoke Times did a story on her and another woman for still being the only 2 that wore their nurse’s hats.  I think the other one is gone now but Donna is still there and wears the total nurses outfit with dress, shoes and the cap.  She also is a great person and I love her to death as well.  She comes to Kayla’s parties and to Thanksgiving Dinner when she can make it.  I always send Grandma Moore a big plate home.  It will be sad this Thanksgiving when she won’t be here.  It’s Kayla’s “Aunt Donna.”

Donna said that when Bernice died she was just worn out and tired.  She had gotten to the point that she couldn’t do very much for herself at all and Donna was getting off work early every day to go home and take care of her.   On Sunday night, Donna had had the rescue squad take her to RMH due to arm pain, throwing up, and other complications.  They did an EKG and found out that some time this past week she had had a heart attack.  They got her stabilized and Donna went home until the next morning.  She got up the next morning and packed a few things to take to the hospital for Bernice.  Bernice loved the pictures of her holding her great grandson, Hayden, and the other one of her holding my granddaughter, her great granddaughter, KyleeAnn.  So Donna had them ready to go when the hospital called and said Bernice had taken a turn for the worse.  Donna called David and by the time they got to the hospital she had already died.  The Sunday before Kim and Kathy (Bernice’s other granddaughter) had taken both of their children over to see Bernice.  Donna wanted them to both come over and see Bernice.  It was like she had a premonition, she said she didn’t feel like that but she was so insistent on them coming over to see Bernice that I think God put that idea into her mind because he knew that Bernice’s days were numbered.  I want to think that and I thank God that Kim and Kathy did go over there that day and Bernice did get to hold both of her great grandchildren.

Kathy’s father was Bernice’s first son, Ricky. Ricky died when Kim was just a baby and Kathy was just a small child.  I can remember holding David when he found out about his brother dying while he cried and cried.  They weren’t close and I think David wanted them to be close and when Ricky died that just halted any chance of that ever happening.  Ricky died of Hodgkin’s Disease.  He was a member of the Williamson Road Life Saving Crew and there was article after article in the Roanoke Times about him and his life as an EMT.  I still have the papers.  So Bernice lost a son during her lifetime.  I have always thought the worse thing that could ever happen to a parent is to lose a child.  I pray to God every day that nothing happens to any of my 4 before I die.  Bernice hurt so much when Ricky died but she overcame that and went on with her life.

My ex husband was married before me and he had a daughter named Melissa.  When we met and got married David let his exes husband adopt Melissa.  She then became Melissa Preas.  Some of you may know her as the News Director of Channel 10 in Roanoke, VA.  Melissa will be listed as a grandchild but I don’t know if she will be there.  She was not told about her birth family until she was older and I don’t think she saw Grandma Moore but one time in her adult life.  Donna has tried to get her to come over and see her but I guess since Melissa didn’t know them it was hard for her.  I have talked to her and I did ask her forgiveness in my part of her not knowing the Moore’s or that David was her father.   That’s another whole part of my life that is hard to explain.  I just know that I have asked God to forgive me of my sins and I have been forgiven.

I only wish I could have been half of the woman that Bernice Moore was.  She will be missed by many and my children and myself will be up near the top of that list.

Here is the obituary from the website of Conner Bowman Funeral Home.

Picture of Grandma Moore for Obituary

Moore, Bernice Goad

April 12, 1928 – July 26, 2010

Bernice Goad Moore, 82 of Boones Mill died Monday, July 26, 2010. She retired from Reliance Universal with 15 years of service and she was a 50 year member of Boones Mill Baptist Church and former organist and pianist at the church. She was born April 12, 1928, a daughter of the late Woody and Elsie Goad. She was also preceded in death by a son, Richard Moore; sister, Louise Moore; and former husband, Ed Moore. Surviving are her son and daughter-in-law, David and Barbara Moore, Roanoke; daughter, Donna Furrow, Boones Mill; grandchildren, Melissa Preas, Kathy Firestone (Kenny), Kimberly Moore and Kevin Morris, Brian Moore, Shawn Furrow, Christy Morrison and Kayla Moore; great-grandchildren, Hayden Richard Firestone and Kylee Ann Dawn Morris; brother and sister-in-law William (Billy) and Ruth Goad, New Castle, Deleware; former son-in-law, Theo Furrow and wife Pat; former daughters-in-law Judy Moore-Gist (Elmer) Goodview and Debbie Moore, Boones Mill. Funeral services will be conducted from Boones Mill Baptist Church 11 a.m. Thursday, July 29, 2010 with Dr. Richard Harrell, Rev. James H. Steele and Rev. Patrick Collins officiating. Interment will follow in Franklin Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made in her name to the American Heart Association. The family will receive friends Wednesday from 2 to 4 and 6 to 8 p.m. at Conner-Bowman Funeral Home & Crematory, Route 220 @ Wirtz Road, Rocky Mount. 334-5151 www.connerbowman.com